In search of Shiva!

Every woman has an image of a man she’d like to end up with. Mostly this image comes from someone in the family, or movies or a character in books or from someone we happen to know. We seek in others what we expect to add in our lives. Almost every woman expects a guy she can be proud of, someone probably more mature and physically strong. But beyond that, the expectations and images differ depending on our own view of self and future life that we want – our goals, our desires and our values. One of the biological theories also suggests that women get attracted to males who can give them good progeny.

Personally, I have been immensely fascinated by 2 characters in my life. In my late teens, it was Howard Roark, the hero of Ayn Rand’s The Fountain Head and later on when my interest and knowledge of Hindu mythology improved, it has been Shiva (yes, the one of the Brahma-Vishnu-Mahesh trinity)

As far as Roark goes, I was completely taken in by the man’s courage and his conviction in the face of never ending hostility. A man who stood his ground to remain true to his profession and principles. I was so fascinated by this character that I dreamed of marrying a guy like Roark. I wanted to be someone who could work in the shadows of a guy like that and be his support and solace. I was also quite fond of Domnique, the female protagonist of The Fountain Head. Though overtime, gaining some more wisdom and life experience (hopefully), my over the top fascination has mellowed down into modest respect for both Roark and Dominique. The former I find a bit too rigid and the latter a bit too temperamental and impractical.

About Shiva, I can’t really zero down on when I realized my intense connect with him. Shiva, the very thought of his raises my spirits to an inexplicable state of happiness. I can feel the love, I can sense the power. More than once, I have fancied myself as Shakti (or Sati), the consort, the strength of Shiva.

In a strange way, I consider Shiva as the most romantic and most desirable amongst Hindu deities. Typically, these adjectives go with Krishna, but for me, Krishna is like my dearest friend, a  big brother, I love and respect and look upto. Shiva is my soul mate. I admire his innocence and simplicity. I adore his renunciation and his ascetic ways. But what appeals to me the most,  is his ability to love immensely and fully, the way he loved Sati, even while remaining aloof of hedonistic pleasures and being committed in entirety to the greater good of the mortal world.  And in this mission of his, Sati, was not a hindrance. She serves both as a medium and a source of energy. And for Sati, it is through Shiva, she reaches her full potential.

Together they work as a team to ensure life lives!

I have always been in awe of the Ardhanarishwar image . The unity of Purush and Prakriti, of Shiv and Shakti, of the masculine and feminine energies, to me, is one of the most powerful representation of divinity, the primal force that upholds the world that we live in. The complementary-ness of Shiva and Shakti inspires me. He is the Prerna, She is the Samarthya, he Inspires, she makes it happen.  That union is but an epitome of Romanticism. Shiva and Shakti – both as complete as one can be, even in their own selves. Shiva and Shakti – who seamlessly fit into each other’s lives and personalities, each enriching the other in a unique way. How much more romantic, how much more complete can a relationship get?  And I mean “Romantic” not in a hedonist, stomach tingling way, but more in a utilitarian sense implying synergy in thought, emotions and action. With Shiva, every emotion has a meaning and a purpose

I yearn for a relationship like that. I don’t care for flowers and chocolates, neither do I want expensive gifts. I don’t care for lavish vacations, nor do I want big villas or cars. I seek a companion, a co-traveler – a man of character, not rash but willing to take on challenges, not impractically obstinate, but one with a drive to make this birth worthwhile, one with a larger sense of purpose beyond making money and living a life of luxury, one who is willing to go that extra mile to make a positive contribution to the world. I seek a seeker who can help me bloom, guide my way, making me a better person each day, and to whose life I can bring value, helping his personal growth. Of course there will be fights, there will be misunderstandings, but then there will also be a sense of maturity to get over and get along the pettiness, to make this life a more fulfilling experience.

Am I asking for too much? Will Shiva happen to me in this life?  If not, there’s always next, would be worth the wait, I guess 🙂

But now I ask myself, do I really know where to find Shiva?  Am I looking for him all over outside, when he probably is within in. He probably IS Me . I need to look deeper …and deeper!

ॐ शान्ति |


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